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Does being single serve a purpose? We are given a lot of freedom when we are single. We can do whatever we want.
We don't have to answer to anyone but ourselves.
And why do we feel we need a man to feel complete... and if we don't we feel something lacking.
Honestly, I think being single is easy sometimes. I enjoy being able to do whatever I want but other times it can be VERY hard. Especially those times when you WANT a man to love, be loved, to be cared for, hugged, caressed and pleased sexually.
Of course we can please ourselves but sometimes even that isn't enough or very satisfying.
Do you ever feel envy or jealous why others seem to have a "mate" and you can't even get one even if you tried!
It hurts when I see people in love, holding hands, being all loving with each other. Other times, wow, that is nice to see. I guess it all depends on what frame of mind we are in or what our cycles(woman) dictates to us through our ups and downs each month.
So why are we single? Is it by choice? Are we to learn something from being single? What?
Why some say you should avoid it all costs.
You never know who might see it or what may happen because of it. It may come back to haunt you in the future.
What do you think? Has it really ever satisfied anyone? Or does it leave you wanting for the real thing. Or is it just a temporary band aid for what is wrong in your life that you do not wish to change?
Long Distance Relationships vs Never meet in Person. They are different in many ways.
LDR - is where you have met each other and started a relationship from meeting... but later are separated for some reasons. Live in two separate states or because of work etc.
NMIP - is a lot harder because you never have met each other and have only exchanged emails, phone chats, videos chats etc.
You have formed an image in your mind about this person by how they converse with you.
I have read that you have to meet them in person sooner the better because only then can you make a REAL conclusion of what this person is like. They may have flaws or things you can't stand.
Some say that you will most likely sleep with them because you are both looking forward to it.
(Yes, guilty... I've wanted to because I felt there was an intimate part of getting to know them BUT it is a lot different when you actually met them in person. They are more REAL than say online chatting.)
If you do meet each other for the first time. Take it slow. Don't jump into it to fast. The first date is emotional enough... adding sex and other things is too much too fast. It's overkill.
Waiting gives you something to look forward too. Not waiting, there are no more surprises.
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I have learned from my youngest sister that this was VERY hard for her. They met online via a online game. They would go visit each other for week at a time. Both would travel. Then it came time that she made the decision to be with him exclusively. They have been together for a long time and now married.
I think this is great that two people found each other ONLINE and made a connection that overcame the odds when being separated.
How many have done this? Did the relationship last or fizzle out afterwards. Was it merely for casual sex or were you hoping for more?
One of the rules I have is to NOT sleep with him on the first date or second for that matter.
I would rather get to know him. Talk and find if we both clicked, like the same things or find out things we both dislike. What activities we both enjoy or possibly try that you haven't thought of trying before.
To push each other to better ourselves or to achieve greatness because sometimes it's exactly what we may need. ENCOURAGEMENT.
Some even say that having sex on the first date kills any courting that may have taken place. He will think that there is no point in courting you he has already won you, the trophy, without even running the race to the finish line.
Men will always remember having sex with you on the first date and thus will only consider you for sex and nothing else. No possible relationship in the near future? He's just having pleasurable sex?
And if she lies to herself saying casual sex is okay... she will get hurt.
Woman are more vulnerable after they have slept with a man. They are said to be chemically bonded together forever.
So the advice I read was to take things SLOWLY and enjoy each other, enjoy your time with whatever you are doing together.
If you care deeply for him and want a relationship with him then mostly likely will have that relationship with him.
But I think he really must want to have the same kind of relationship with you as well. SO being up front about it from the start about what both of you want out of it is the best way to understand what each other needs.
TIP #1:
MAKE YOUR EXPECTATIONS CLEAR What do both of you expect from this relationship? If he says your not exclusively then your not.
TIP #2:
DON'T ASSUME HIS LOVE FOR YOU WILL CHANGE HIM If he enjoys the attention of woman or has lots of casual flings, do not think the love of a good woman will change him.
TIP #3:
DON'T LET FEELINGS OVERWHELM COMMON SENSE Don't assume that because he treats you like a princess, he isn't treating another woman the same way. We can't imagine someone would treat us this way and yet do it to other woman at the same time! (boy this is so dead on!)
TIP #4:
DON'T IGNORE HIS PAST Whatever he has said to you he has probably said to other woman in the past. We want to believe he's never experienced anything like this with another woman but off than not he has. We both have to remember that we both have histories and a past. Personal goals and beliefs we both want out of a relationship. AND have the courage to leave a relationship that you do not feel is mutually respectful no matter how right you feel about it. This is not to say all men are liars or cheaters. Just be WISER and have your eyes a bit more OPEN next time. Relationships takes smarts too not just love.
How to be smarter when it comes to men... It's true woman are more able express emotions more easily then men. We are taught to express how we feel through words. Men on the other hand do it through actions. A man who truly loves his lady will show her by his ACTIONS and what he does FOR her than by what he says. Other men use words to tell a woman what she wants to hear. They use this to their advantage. It's feels like a betrayl if you BELIEVE what he tells you because that is what you want to here but then later find out that he has said the same thing to other woman. That often leaves us woman feeling that we cannot TRUST the men with our hearts.
TIP #1:
GET SOME PERSPECTIVE - is what happen really so bad? He cancelled your date or some special evening. Can you laugh it away?
TIP #2:
DEAL WITH THE SITUATION AT HAND Don't bring up the past. Deal with the current situation.
TIP #3:
EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS COMPLETELY Don't accuse him but tell him, "I felt hurt by your comment or what you did?" Etc
TIP #4:
CARE ABOUT HIS POINT OF VIEW Don't yell at each other to drown each other out. Understand their point of view. Give them space.
TIP #5:
GIVE UP BEING RIGHT AND GET CLOSER It doesn't matter who's right if your in a relationship. Don't hold the pain of being hurt so tightly to you that it forms a barrier between you and your partner. Allow him to make amends, and allow yourself to forgive. You know when your partner's heart is genuinely in the right place.
So should you tell your partner or love one when they say something hurtful or when their actions hurt you in some way?
1) Tell them:
Yes but it's how you approach it is the key. Not by attacking but by stating in a positive way. "I felt hurt by your comment." etc.
2) Take a moment to think: Ask yourself it is the person you are with right now that is hurting you or is it from the past still haunting you. (I've been guilty recently of taking it out on others what I was feeling. It was wrong, and I apologized. I should have told the person directly that I felt hurt by then letting it fester.)
3) Take criticism with a grain of salt. Actually two different guys have told me the same thing. And I value both of their input and wisdom. I shouldn't have take it personally because I know that person was wrong and was hurting me just because... the cycle of hurting. Will we ever learn? Some people base their self-image on what others think of them or say about them. WHO CARES WHAT THEY THINK! It comes back to what you think of yourself. Do you value yourself enough? If you feel good about yourself, there is nothing anyone else can say that will bother you. One guy told me, just smile at them and walk away. You win! Nothing gets them more than you being happy when they are pissed or angry at you!
We've all seen them or have friends who've gone through them or heard about others who have.
Why not get out if your not happy? Why do people stay in them? It does more harm than good. It messes with your self-esteem. It affects your children.
But sometimes saying you want to leave is just wishful feelings. Some may think they are a failure for not making it work. Not trying harder. They love them. They don't want to leave. They don't want to admit they need them. Rely on them more than they want to show.
But do any really "try" to make it work or are they in such a pattern that they don't know how to get out of it. They continue to accept the abuse, hurtful words, or whatever seems to be the problem.
How do you reconnect with that person when they first started dating or when they said "I do"... how do you get the love back or is it better to just leave and find another that will appreciate, love and care like we all deserve.
I heard marriage is one of the hardest of relationships. Why??
How do we find that one person that will heal us by loving us, needing us, caring about us, admiring us, chasing us again....
Why do we remember those most negative of emotions? Because they carry a strong emotional charge to them. Why can't it be love? And not hurt. 
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