Hello all,

I am a mother and currently looking for work. My days are not at all stressfull in any way except not receieveing a phone call for a potential job. My partner is a full time construction worker and I realize he is tired when he arrives home. But whenever i try to talk to him about our relationship or things on my mind he say's he's beginning to get a headache or just tells me "I just got home all I want to do is relax!" I respect that so I leave him alone, after a few months of this "leave-him-alone-tactic" I bring up a concern of mine and again he yells and complains that he doesn't want to talk about it. So now I'm left to seek counceling, talk to friends about my problems and basically cry about them because i know they'll never be solved. I know this may sound like I'm sulking but all I want is some attention once and a while. Why are guys like this and is this really love when my partner just won't listen to me? (I asked him about counceling for both of us and he rolls his eyes and walks away, leaving me wondering..he says he loves me and he really is a good guy (most of the time) but could there be a problem with him and commitment or something??) :(

Any suggestions on how I could talk to him better or comments from guys on how to talk to guys are needed but all comments are welcome!

Sincerely, Confused Momma

I feel sorry for you as he needs to understand your feelings. May I ask, are you suffereing money problems and also does he get much time off work, ie does he gets the weekends off etc. Maybe you both need to get away for a while, maybe go away for the weekend, you don't need to travel far, just so he can get his mind off work and his other troubles. It also sounds like you both are in a rut, ie I mean that you both just go through the motions and not enjoying life. Is he also having difficulties at work? if so this will affect his home life as well.

Another way to approach what is on your mind is ask him first what was work like and what may be on his mind. By being upfront with your problems first may be putting him off as really last thing a bloke needs when he gets home from work is a nagging wife.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Hi,

I do get attention from my husband, but there is one thing he cant do: that is to talk about relationship and feelings. He has admitted that himself. So we have tried to built our life together knowing this issue.

Maybe your partner is also one of those kind of men, who doesn't want to talk "soft"-things, he shows his love in other ways?