hi all,im after advice on how to help my wife overcome or deal with her sexual abuse so she can enjoy and experiance intamacy at her comfort level. we are in our mid 30s and have 3 children . so she is no stranger love making BUT the thought of masturbation turns her off and thinks that experimenting and trying new things makes her feel dirty. i love my wife with all my heart and just want her to acheive her goal as she wants to  enjoy the pleasures of sex. being an abuse victim is something i would not wish on my wost enemy and this is a decission she has made on her own. their is no pressure from me, i have no hang ups and her boundaries are fully respected. if there is someone out there that has a sugestion or idea or maybe even overcome a simillare situation  plaese dont hesitate to pin it up . she is my soul mate , my heart and my life, so PLEASE no idiotic comments just the respect she deserves. thanks for any help

Hi there, I think you are right in not pushing her and I feel sorry for her in that the abuse still haunts her. My suggestion is maybe seeing a sex therapist together but only if she is willing and it may also help in easing the pain she feels from being abused. Good luck and I hope she can one day totally move on from the bad experiences hse has endured.

My heart goes out to your wife, and I honor you for being the man you are.  I am a life coach and have helped numerous women release the pain from past physical/mental/emotion/sexual abuse and be able to regain their ability to enjoy the moment in general, and sex/intimacy in particular.  I'd be happy to have a conversation with you and/or her in more detail.  Just message me back and we can chat further if you'd like.  Again, I admire your stance because many men will take it personal, or pressure their wives, and I thank you for not doing that.

Hi, I'm not sure if your aware of my back round but I've been raped. Certainly not the same but non the less some pain and regret. I went to therapy talked and talked. For me, talking was very little help. However, in your case I would suggest she speak with someone. Maybe with you in the same room if she wants. I believe women in general have a hard time when they think they've been violated. It took me a while so I'm sure she feels the same.

    I wish you nothing but the best. Talk or have her talk to someone. One day she will block it all out and get on with life.

Best wishes  T

hi all, thanks for the response that alone put put a smile on her face . it also slightly briightens the light at the end of my tunnel. at the moment she is seeing a phsycologist  and unfortunatley has been let down twice by them, but now the third one maybe lucky as they say. we thank you all for your comments and will take some thought and discusion on them. seansmith  if my wife would like to talk iwill certainley let you know if and when she thinks she is up to it i do appreciate the offer. pearlthong i think all sexuall abuse in anyway should not be rated and is all the same vile act that it is, sexual abuse . thank you for your story it helped her not to feel like she is  alone,its also a relieif to know ther is proof that it can be over come.  stay safe all and any other ideas and stories of success are truly welcomed.     yours sincererly  JL