Kissing
Kissing is in my opinion one of the most erotic and satisfying sexual things we can do with our clothes still on. A kiss can convey, passion, love, affection, friendship and total unabashed sexual energy. Kissing someone is often the very first sexual experience that we all do. Whether is be a light kiss with a friendly embrace, or a no holds barred deep sensuous French kiss with lots and lots of body contact.
Kissing is not just limited to a boys mouth, you can gently butterfly kiss every part of his body in a way that will drive him to almost orgasmic bliss. But does kissing come naturally and if not what are some of the things we should keep in mind while kissing?
Do always make sure that your breath is fresh and your teeth have been brushed, there is nothing worse than kissing someone with bad breath!
If you smoke, then think about not smoking for a while before a kiss or using gum or a mouth freshener, after all non smokers hat kissing an ashtray!
Kissing is not just moving your mouths together, it also involves body contact, hugging and touching.
Tips to be a great kisser
* Don't drool all over the guy and leave huge big trails of saliva.
* Open your mouth and let his tongue into your mouth and do the same.
* A gentle nibble is OK, but hard biting is nasty and a real turn off.
* Gentle nibble on the neck, ears and back of the neck is very erotic.
* Don't try and cover his entire mouth with yours like a suction cup, that is just plain gross!
* Don't try and stick your tongue so far down his mouth that he can't breath.
* Do duel with each other's tongues.
* Use your tongue to sensually trace over his teeth and his lips.
* Don't let your tongue act like it is searching for lost food between his teeth!
* Gently hold the back of his head while kissing him.
* Or run your fingers through his hair at the same time, it causes goosebumps all over.
* Move your lips around and respond to him when he is kissing you.
* Don't just stand or site there like a stunned mullet!
Some Cool Things to Try!
Unexpected Peck Leads to Passion
This is a really cool one to try, You start off by giving your partner a quick peck on the cheek or lips. Then you move back a little look him in the eye and give him another peck with a little bit more ferocity, you slowly build up the passion and excitement in the kiss till you are in the throes of wild and very passionate kissing.
Erotic Stubble Kiss
This is a great Kissing technique even if your guy doesn't have stubble. Start by gently kissing his lips softly, then move onto the side of his face around the side where the stubble usually grows. Gently make your way all along the edge of the face giving small little kisses. Don't suck or slobber but just lightly kiss. It is guaranteed to turn even the most masculine guys to jelly!
Practice Kissing
It may sound really lame but if you haven't got all that much experience kissing someone try doing some practice. Scrunch your hand up in a fist and turn in sideways, so the knuckles are pointing sideways and you have an opening kind of in front of you.
Use this as a way of kissing so it is a bit like there are lips there and just practice for a while!
Blow Jobs - Suck Cock
Why do gay guys give good head? Because they have a cock and they know what feels good! - It's an old joke that is often used by gay guys to get straight boys into bed, and it's amazing how often it actually works.
Oral sex or Fellatio is great for both the guy giving and receiving, it can bring a guy to a mind shattering orgasm within minutes or can prolong the excitement for hours and hours, although the guy giving may end up with lock jaw!
But if you are new to gay sex and a bit nervous about giving head what should you know about to give really great blowjobs?
The cardinal rule of oral sex is:
Mind the teeth!
there is nothing worse than having a mouth full of teeth scraping and bumping against your most precious and sensitive organ of your body (unless of course you are into pain but that's a totally different section).
The first thing that you have to think about when giving head is that there is a huge difference between blowing a cut cock and an uncut one. Read the section on Your Penis to get a low down on this to find out where the sensitive places are on each cock.
If you are receiving oral sex, always make sure that your cock is clean, either by washing before sex, or giving it a quick clean with some warm water. There is nothing worse than going down on a smelly cock!
Basic Tips and Techniques
* Getting started with giving head is really easy and not that hard, if you think of the penis as one big lollipop that is extremely sensitive.
* Start by licking head of the penis in round circular motions. If he is uncut you can pull down the foreskin a bit to get to the head.
* Open your mouth wide and let the head of the penis enter your mouth, watch your teeth and use lots of tongue action and saliva.
* The basic movement is actually nothing like blowing or sucking. It is the action of your mouth causing friction over the sensitive skin of the penis.
* While the penis is in your mouth try to lick the underside of his penis paying attention to the underside of the head as this is a very sensitive and erotic part of the penis.
* Make sure that you use lots of saliva to lubricate your mouth.
* You should try using your hands as well, gently play with his balls, the end of the shaft even his ass, as this will all add to the pleasure.
* If you are new to gay sex, don't try getting all of his penis down your throat, as you can gag and this can be very uncomfortable.
* Try breathing through your nose.
* Lick from the head of the penis down to the base of it as well.
* Use your tongue to gently massage and lick his balls as many guys will go totally over the edge with this.
* Try bobbing your head backwards and forwards on the he penis letting it slide in and out of your mouth.
* You can also use your lips to form a tight ring around the penis, but again make sure that your lips or your tongue cover your teeth.
* If he is uncut try getting your tongue between the head and the foreskin
Positions
There are a heap of different positions that you can suck and be sucked. The different positions will also give you more angle or leverage to get down his penis.
Submissive
This submissive position is probably one of the most popular positions in which to give head. The guy getting blown stands up or kneels on a bed. You kneel between his legs with your head at the level of his crotch. From this position you can suck on his cock and he can gently or even roughly hold or grab your head.
A variation on this position is the skull fuck, where the guy keeps hold of your head and with his hands on either side of your head and fucks your mouth. For a novice cocksucker this can be quite difficult as the guy can become very aggressive and you may not be able to take all of his cock (see Deepthroating).
Side 69
The classic 69 is a great position where you can both give and receive oral sex at the same time. The side 69 is where you both lie down facing each other, with your heads in each other's crotch. You then take each other's penis's in your mouth and go for it!
Top 69
The Top and bottom 69 is a variation on the theme where one guys lies on his back and the other guy lies down on top of him. This can be a bit of an awkward position as the guy on the bottom cannot always get enough leverage to suck the other guys' cock. And it also penetrates quite far down into the throat.
Lying down
The classic lying down position is where the guy receiving head lies down on the bed and the other guys kneels above him fucking his face. This can cause some strain on the he neck and it is better to use a pillow or something or let the guy sit up a bit.
Bent Over
The guy receiving oral sex may be sitting on a chair or sofa and the guy giving the blow job is sitting next to him. He leans over and takes the cock in his mouth and suck on it from that position. This is a good position for a relative beginner as the guy receiving head cannot thrust up into his mouth.
How to Deepthroat
The most common of all requests for guys is for their partner's to deep throat their penis, as the throat muscles can add to the pleasure of the head!
If you are trying to give head and want to try deepthroating, always make sure that you can breathe through your nose, or you may end up getting your oxygen flow cut off!
Deepthroating is all about relaxing and getting the position right. You need to have a look at how his penis curves to work out what position is best to take. If his penis curves upwards then you are better off getting in a 69 position so it can curve down your throat rather than up. And if the penis curves downwards then kneeling in front of him is a good way to go.
Basically the mechanics of deepthroating mean that the penis needs to curve down your throat past your gag reflex.
* Start off by sucking his cock as normal and get him nice and horny and hard.
* Try going down a little bit further on his penis with every downward stroke.
* As it hits the back of your mouth or throat try yawning, as this action will open up your throat.
* Try this a few times, if you gag, just let the cock back into your mouth and take breath and give it a minute.
* If you are still having trouble, try swallowing when the penis gets to the back of your throat as this can help open the throat.
* As the penis goes into the he throat you may hear a light popping sound, this is quite normal, it just the penis entering the throat.
* When you are deepthroating, the penis may end up covered in a thicker saliva than normal. This is just the normal mucous at the back of your throat.
* It can take quite a while to master this technique and it probably won't happen on your first few times.
* Concentrate on relaxing and if you want to image something like a drink sliding down your throat, as this can help your throat actually open up.
Once you have mastered getting his penis in your throat there are a few things you can try.
* Try to make your throat muscles contract around the head of the penis, like giving the head a massage.
* Do a swallowing action around the penis.
* Practice taking the head in and out of your throat, your guy will likely go wild.
With Deepthroating practice does make perfect and the more you practice the easier you will be able to take cock! Not all cocks can be deepthroated, some cocks simply are too big or too rigid to give that little bit of a bend, and these are just nigh on impossible to deepthroat!
Spit. Swallow or Neither?
Now this is a very personal and important issue, do you spit swallow or not let a guy cum in your mouth. With oral sex there is a risk of catching sexually transmitted diseases, everything from Gonorrhea to HIV. Letting a guy cum in your mouth is very risky behavior especially if he is a one night stand or a trick!
Basically though if you are in a monogamous relationship then it is up to you to decide what you do..... If you want to be safe then use a condom when giving head, the risk is low, but it is there!
Erotic Massage
Giving and receiving a massage can be a wonderfully personal and at times erotic pleasure for both the person receiving the massage and the person giving it! A massage can stimulate the body, relax the mind and make someone feel that much more special about themselves.
The art of giving an erotic massage is not have sex as such, instead it is to totally relax and turn on your partner at the same time. The following is a guide for all facets of giving an erotic massage that will make his toes curl and bring him to much higher plain of ecstasy.
Setting
An erotic massage should be given to your partner in a setting that allows them to relax and somewhere that they feel comfortable. It is unlikely that you will have a massage table on hand, so instead try on the bed.
* Make sure the room is warm, by turning on a heater before the massage.
* Light some candles and burn some incense or put some essential oils in a burner to create a soft and romantic setting.
* Put a towel down on the bed so you don't get massage oils on the sheets.
* If you have a stereo in the bedroom put on some soft and soothing music, something like Enya, or waterfalls or something innocuous, but soothing.
Lubrication
Lubrication or massage oils are very important to help your hands glide all over his body. If you are intending to have penetrative sex, then use a water based lubricant, but preferably an erotic massage should not include sex.
* Massage oils can be purchased from a variety of stores and often contain essential oils that not only smell good but also help the body relax and rejuvenate.
* If you don't have any massage oils, hand cream, or even a very light olive oil can be used instead.
* Always make sure the oil is warm before using it, as cold oil on hot skin can feel horrible.
Getting Started
* Start off by bringing your partner into the bedroom and getting him to undress and lie on the bed.
* You should undress to create the full body to body contact.
* Warm up your hands by rubbing them together before touching his body.
* Cover his body in warm towels all except the place where you will start the massage.
* You can warm up towels by putting them in a dryer for a few minutes so they are nice and warm and toasty!
The Massage
The massage itself should be done bit by bit on the following parts of the body. You can try a number of techniques that are listed below and use your hands, your tongue (although if you are using essential oils don't use your tongue), a feather and even an ice cube!
Pay attention to the sounds of your boy and his body, if he tenses up with something then stop doing that hat motion and start something else!
Feet
Start by gently massaging his feet, as much of the bodies tension will reside in his feet. Remember to play with each toe and also between the toes.
Legs
Work your way up the legs one leg at a time pushing down gently into the muscles. Moving up towards his bottom. Make sure that you keep contact with his body as much as possible and every now and then get some more massage oils to help lubricate the skin.
Bottom
Move onto the bottom and gently knead and stroke all the bottom including the ass itself. Run your fingers lightly over the asshole, but resist the temptation to penetrate it. This will just build the anticipation and the eroticism of the massage.
Lower Back
Move on to the lower back, bringing your hands together at the spine and then moving outwards. Also use circular motions to this area and go all the way to the sides of the hips and the bottom.
Upper Back
Slowly move your way up the spine to the upper back. You may also want to gently blow and even lick at the back as well, to give him even more pleasure.
Shoulders
Work the shoulders and gently knead them and roll them between your hands. Move your hands down in broad strokes to the back and bottom as well all the while keeping hand and body contact between you and your partner.
Arms
Start by moving both hands down the arms across the triceps and down to the forearms. Try alternating between lying on him and then only having your hands touching him.
Hands
Massage the hands paying special attention to each finger and the in between the fingers and then start moving back up the arms tot he shoulder and neck area.
Neck
Work on his neck and hair and gently strokes and knead this area. Blow warm air on the he base of his neck between the hair line and the skin and this will cause goose bumps all over him!
Turn him over and uncover his entire front body. Don't worry if he isn't hard yet, we will come to that.
Chest
In broad circular motions massage his chest lightly paying attention to his nipples and gently tweak them. If you are feeling very adventurous instead of using your hands, use your tongue to gently lick and nibble across his chest and up to his neck and ears. Don't bite, just lick and gently blow on the exposed skin.
Stomach
Move down towards his stomach, but be careful not to put too much pressure on his stomach as this can hurt some guys. Rubs the stomach and lick and blow gently. By now he will probably have a raging hardon, but don't go straight to his balls. Instead run your hands into his crotch itself, avoiding the penis and balls for a while.
Crotch
Massage all the skin between his legs, around his pubic area and hair and around his lower stomach and make sure he is really turned on.
Gently touch and caress his balls, with either your finger tips, your tongue or even a feather. Then slowly move toward his penis. You can do an enormous amount of things here such as gently massage the oil into the shaft and head, use your tongue or use a feather or an ice cube.
Alternate between his crotch area and the rest of his stomach and chest, turning him on and teasing him slightly.
The penis
When you and he are ready, move back down to his penis and masturbate him till he ejaculates. You can try any number of techniques, from using your mouth, to kneading the head to giving him a blowjob. It is up to you and you will know his body the best!
The End
At the end of the massage, lie down with him kissing and holding him in a cocoon of love, warmth and after sex glow!
There are a million different variations to this massage the most common being:
The Feather
Use a feather instead of your hands to massage and tickle his body and penis.
The Ice cube
Use an ice cube gently on sections of his body
The basic massage can be changed and varied at will and should take between 45 - 60 minutes from start to finish!
Anal Sex
Anal sex is probably for many gay guys the limits of their sexual adventures. But not all gay guys actually have anal sex. Studies suggest that somewhere between 40 - 50% of gay men have anal sex. This is probably the act that most ill informed straight people think of most when they think of gay sex, and in many cases it repulses them even though most straight men have at one time or another thought about having anal sex with a woman.
The first thing to say about anal sex is to always use a condom and lots of water based lubricant, as it is the major risk for transmission of HIV / AIDS. The ass is a very receptive place for small unseen cuts and fissures and can easily infect someone through unsafe sexual practices. This also goes for the guy inserting his penis in the ass as well!
This section is written in three parts, the first explains your ass and why being fucked can be such an incredible sensual and mind blowing experience. The second explains how to get used to the feeling of having something in your ass, and the third is how to try having anal sex for the first time.
Your Ass and Pleasure
The male ass has something quite unique that the female does not possess and that is the prostate gland. It is a small gland a couple of centimeters inside of your ass that when massaged by either a finger or a cock can cause incredible sensations.
Many men can come just from having their prostate gland massage without even touching their own penis. The pain itself from initial anal intercourse is caused by the sphincter muscle (the ass ring) being very tight and clamping down on the finger, penis or other instrument being inserted in the ass.
Because the inside of the ass and rectum does not have the same sort of sensory nerves that you have on your skin, you can do damage by inserting sharp objects in your ass, so always cut your fingernails before playing with yourself or other people.
Never put anything in your ass that you can't get out or keep a hold on and never ever put anything breakable, alive or edible up their either!
Getting Yourself Ready For Anal Sex
Let's face it the first few times that you play with your ass you may not enjoy the experience and it may be a bit painful or even cause a bit of bleeding. But don't let that fact put you off. Gay fiction often depicts the virgin being able to easily take an 8 inch cock with no or minimal pain. In reality this is not the case and it is worth your while getting used to having something in your own ass before moving on to letting someone fuck you.
Almost all of the pain is caused by your sphincter muscle trying to contract around whatever is being inserted in your ass and this muscle spasm can be very painful.
The following outlines a general concept for playing with your ass and finding your prostate.
* The absolute first thing you need to do before any playing with your ass is get yourself relaxed. Whether this is by having a warm bath, taking a muscle relaxant or meditating for a while.
* Make sure that you have a ready supply of lubricant such as a water based lubricant, or if you are plying with yourself and there is going to be no actual sex using condoms something like Vaseline is fine.
* Find a place where you will not be disturbed, this might be while taking a shower, while your parents or flatmates are out or in your room with the he door locked!
* Get a towel and lie down and get yourself randy by slowly jerking off for a while.
* Get some lube and gently massage it around your ass, but don’t slide your fingers in yet, just get used to the feelings of playing at the opening of your ass.
* This may be incredibly pleasurable for you.
* If you are in the shower using soap be aware that soap can dry out your ass and sting a little, as can saliva also dry your ass out too.
* Use lots of lube and continue to play with the opening just letting the tip of your finger in your ass.
* Do this for a while until you feel comfortable with the feelings you are having. You may find that you feel a bit strange and get a bit and sweaty as well!
* Once you are comfortable with the finger in a bit try pushing it in further and move it around a little and also try pulling it backwards and forwards out of your ass and then back in.
* You may even cum from this already by hitting your prostate a bit.
* To find your prostate hook your finger a bit up towards your tummy and move it around the wall of your ass.
* Feel for a small (or even large bump) and gently massage or rub this spot. If you feel the urge to cum or incredible pleasure, you have found your prostate.
* As you get closer to cumming. your prostate will enlarge and get bigger and more sensitive.
* Try doing this a few times while you are jerking off until you come while pleasuring your ass.
Once you are comfortable with playing with a finger or even a few in your ass you may want to move onto using something else to play with.
The best advice I have seen for this apart from going out and buying a small dildo is to use a smooth candle to practice inserting in your ass. As you get more and more able to accommodate a candle you may want to try larger objects. Don't ever use fruit as it can break off in your ass and cause immense pain coming out. Try finding other cock-like objects and always use lots and lots of lubricant.
Once you are ready and can successfully take things in your ass it is time to try it with your partner!
A word of advice though, not everyone does actually enjoy having things in their ass, and they may never like to be fucked. If you really don't want to, then don't, no one is going to force you to do anything you don't want to do!
The First Time
The first time you are fucked can be an incredible experience, but can also be a little bit painful as well, especially since you may be a little (or a lot) nervous and your muscle may be quite tense.
* Take it slowly and don't just let your partner push his cock in until you are really ready.
* Start off with some foreplay, kissing, licking touching and massaging and get yourself nice and horny.
* Get your partner to help you relax by may be massaging you or just let yourself go and be free.
* Make sure you have condoms and lubricant and lots of it.
* Start by gently lubricating and concentrating on loosening up your ass. Take your time with this, it can take half an hour sometimes to even get two fingers in your ass.
* Make sure that you are relaxed and loose.
* Lie on your side with your partner behind you with a condom and lube on his cock.
* Slowly let him push his penis against your ass,
* Try pushing out like you are going to the toilet as this helps open up the sphincter.
* As he gets a little bit in, stop and breathe deeply and wait for any pain or discomfort to pass before proceeding.
* If at any time you want to stop tell him to take it out. Always make sure that he understands that if you ask him to stop, he stops. Trust is very important in anal sex.
* Bit by bit push all of the penis inside until there is no more or you can't take any more.
* Once you are ready let him push his penis slowly in and out of your ass.
* As he passes over your prostate you may get jolts of pleasure and cum - this is perfectly normal!
So that's it for the anal sex first time, just keep on going until it hurts or you have both cum. Practice again and again and pretty soon you will be able to take his cock without any trouble at all and you will get more and more pleasure.
Some Positions
Once you are comfortable with anal sex and you are definitely enjoying yourself there are hundreds of positions and things you can try. They include:
• Sitting down on his cock as he lies down or sites down.
• Your legs above his ears while he kneels behind you.
• Up against a wall partially bent forward
* Upside down!
• In the Shower
• Doggy Style with you and him on your knees
Fantasy & Role Play
Fantasy and role play are normal and healthy aspects of male sexuality, whether it be the erotic fantasies we have during our solo masturbation sessions, or fantasy we create with our lovers and or partners.
Erotic fantasies can come in all manner of shapes and sizes, from imaging that we are being seduced by a famous actor or musician, right down to imagining that the hunky boy next door is our sex slave for the weekend.
Fantasies allow us to free up our mind and lose some of our sexual inhibitions. We can be that blonde surfer dude with the perfect body in our fantasies and we can do and say things that we might not normally do.
Fantasies are perfectly healthy provided that we can still tell fantasy from reality and that our fantasy lives do not obsess or take over our minds.
Some Favorite Fantasies
The following lists some of the many and common fantasies and role playing that gay men often use to put some spice and zing in their sex lives!
* The Pizza Boy
* Being a porn Star
* The locker Room
* The Boy Next door
* Seducing a Straight Boy
* Cops and Robbers
* The hitchhiker
* At the Beach
* In public
* The Delivery Man / Boy
* Being used by the football team
* The famous person
* Twins (a real turnon)
* In the Car
* On the Dance Floor * Our best friend
* The Plumber
* The repair man
* The office Boy
* Our Boss
* Discovered Jerking off by mate
* College Roommate
* In the Shower after practice
* The gym
* The gym instructor
* In the distant past
* In the Future
* At the Sauna
* In a Plane
* Outside
As you can see the list of possible fantasy scenarios is almost endless. The trick with fantasies is to find a common ground between you and your partner / lover to explore some of your fantasies. Role Playing is a great way to have fun and can really allow you to live out some of the deep dark secrets.
Some rules about role playing
* You must always agree with your partner / lover that you are acting out a role or fantasy.
* Agree some common boundaries for the fantasy, i.e., if your fantasy is to include a third person make up some ground rule like no kissing, or no fucking etc. before hand.
* Communicate your fantasies with each other!
* Do be prepared to compromise a bit, after all his idea of fun might not be to have sex in the toilet of an aircraft somewhere over the Atlantic.
* Don't force anyone to get involved in your fantasies, if they don't want to be a part of it respect their wishes.
* On the other hand open up your mind and allow yourself to push your own sexual boundaries a little, you may enjoy the experience!
The bottom line of fantasies is:
Have fun, do it safely and enjoy yourself!
Sex Toys
Sex toys are not just the realm of women, they are hugely popular with gay men and there are lots of different toys to choose from. Sex toys for men range from lifelike dildos to more unusual things such as restraints and slings.
There is something incredibly naughty and forbidden about sex toys that make even the most open person blush and giggle about them. But so many men have at least one type of sex toy in their cupboard and drawer that they are almost de-rigor to own at least one!
Don't discount sex toys as only something that other people use, they can be an extremely fun and exciting way of spicing up your sex life, and they can also help you to better relate to your own sexuality.
Sex Toy Rules
* Never Share Sex Toys between partners, if you do use a condom on it!
* Always wash your sex toys after use in warm soapy water (if rubber, metal etc.)
* Never put anything in your ass that you can't remove
* Never use anything that can break like glass etc.
* Don't insert edible items inside - they can rot and cause enormous infections
* Ditto on anything alive like a gerbil
* Don't use anything flammable
The most common sex toys are described below and at the end of the page is a link to a few sex shops where you can discretely make your purchase online!
Dildos
By far the most common and first thought of sex toy is the good old fashioned dildo. They come in all manner of shapes, sizes, colours and actions. Some are just long thin tools that are hard and inflexible, while some are molded off real penises such as the new Lukas Ridgestone dildo with retractable foreskin. Some vibrate, some squirm and some even spurt liquid!
Dildo's are used to give yourself or your partner anal pleasure. Always use lubricant with dildos and never share them between partners. Also many of the dildos made are for women and are quite hard and inflexible, while a lot of the dildo's made for men are more flexible and softer made out of rubber. As a general rule if you are on the he market for a dildo choose something that feels like a cock and not something that looks like a small missile.
Butt Plugs
Butt Plugs are used to help stretch the ass for penetration and also to give anal pleasure. They come in a variety of shapes and sizes, from quite thin long probes all the way up to very large cone shaped devices. They almost always have some sort of large base that prevents them from disappearing up the recipients ass and also making them fit flush against the ass when inserted.
Some guys also use buttplugs under their clothes so they are getting anal stimulation all through the day. Although this can cause uncontrollable muscle spasms and can be quite dangerous.
Anal Beads
Anal Beads are another wonderful anal sex toy. They are used for anal stimulation and are inserted in the the ass. They look like a bunch of balls stuck together with either a cord or a long probe. As they are inserted into your ass they cause pleasure as they pop through the anal sphincter and massage the prostate gland.
Cock Rings
Cock Rings are used to prolong the time to orgasm and help to keep the penis hard during sex. Cock rings can come in a variety of types including metal rings, rubber and leather. The cock ring is placed over the cock and balls when the penis is still flaccid. It works by constricting the blood flow from the penis and balls when the penis is hard. Be careful with cock rings because size can actually be quite deceptive and putting ion a smaller cock ring and then not being able to get it off can be an extremely painful and uncomfortable experience!
Other types of sex toys include:
* Masturbation Tools
* Restraints
* Slings
* Handcuffs
* Love Dolls
* Tit (nipple) Clamps
Sex in Open & Closed Relationships
Gay couples are not always monogamous and their relationship can be terms as "open". In these relationships the partners have an understanding about sex outside the relationship.
In closed or monogamous relationships, neither partner sleeps with anyone else and they make a commitment to this effect. There are pros and cons for both types of relationships and advantages and disadvantages in including a third person as well.
Closed Relationships
Disadvantages
* The sex life can get boring if both partner's don't put effort into it
* Some people can feel they are missing out on something
Advantages
* Commitment and Trust
* A sense of knowing that your partner only wants be with you
* Safer Sex is always practiced
* Their is no jealousy of your partner sleeping with other people
* You know your partner isn't going to run off with some person you both slept with
Open Relationships
Disadvantages
* You can pick up STD's from other people
* You can get jealous of your partners sexual escapades
* There is a high chance that the relationship will break down due to one partner meeting someone else
* You can end up not having sex with your partner and ;losing touch and growing apart
Advantages
* For people with not much experience it can allow them freedom to experiment
* A feeling of individualism can be found
* The relationship can grow in other ways, and if that person is not right for you you can meet someone who is
Regardless of whether you have an open or closed relationship the key to successful relationship is:
Communication
Honesty
Trust
A sexual relationship with a long term partner can go through ups and downs, especially if one person is more highly sexed than the other. This is often used as a reason for an open relationship. Whether this is an excuse or not is irrelevant.
Sex however does not have to become boring or infrequent in a relationship. When you are with someone who who love and trust then the door is open to acting out fantasies and trying things that are new.
This might include spicing up your sex life by:
* Role Playing
* Doing it in new places like outside, ona boat etc.
* Being very spontaneous; or planning something very romantic.
Agreeing on a Relationship Type
When agreeing to a certain type of relationship there is a process you should go through to work out what is best for you and your own situation.
* Talk to your partner openly and tell him how you feel and what you want.
* If you disagree on some aspect or aspects then find a compromise that you are both happy with
* Make a firm agreement of the rules and boundaries,. If this means no sex outside the relationship, or if it means you can fool around, but no kissing or anal sex. These are all valid rules
* Regularly discuss the rules and boundaries, they should be flexible, or at least able to be discussed rationally without argument
Communication is the key, as is honesty and commitment. If you break the rules then expect the consequences, and be prepared to tell the truth.
Threesomes and Relationships
Threesomes are very common in gay relationships, often though they are used as a way to appease a partner who wants to sleep around. Before going down the path of inviting someone else into the relationship whether it be for one night, a week or the duration of the relationship, you need to ask yourself why you are doing so.
If there is an underlying dissatisfaction with the he relationship then you need to work this through before inviting some else to join you. Otherwise the third person can split the relationship up.
If it is because the sex life has become a bit staid and boring, then you should try and spice it up with yourselves first.
If on the other hand the relationship is strong and there is good communication already, then you may look for a third person. But having sex with a third person will always change the relationship, regardless of whether you want it to or not!
Finding a Third
Often the best place to find a third person is a club or pub. A cute guy might try and pick one or even both of you up. If you want a threesome proposition him. He can only say no!
You can put an advertisement in a newspaper, the net or a magazine and get a whole stack of responses.
Ground Rules
Some common ground rules that people have in inviting someone in to have sex with them are:
* No seeing the guy again
* No anal sex (or maybe only between the couple)
* If one partner wants to back out then they both back out
In the end it's up to you and your partner what you do to spice up your sex life, but before you invite a third or sleep with other people why not try spicing it up just the two of you?
Escorts
Sometimes we want a sexual partner that we pay for, whatever the circumstances, whether we just can't seem to get the courage to pick up at a bar, don't want to visit a Sauna, Bathhouse or Beat. So instead we choose to pay for our sexual encounters.
Let's face it though in many ways we already pay for our encounters, just not in such an obvious way. For example you meet a cute guy a bit younger than you and you take him to a fancy restaurant where you order expensive wine and he orders the lobster. Then later on in the night you end having wild passionate sex. Indirectly you are still paying for it. Or take the few drinks you bought your latest one night stand at the pub, it's still paying for it.
You can open almost any gay newspaper to the back and see Male Escort Services listed, or under Massage. Whatever it is, it is still pay for play. In many countries of the world it is illegal to pay for sex. So they get around it in a variety of ways, such as calling it a true escort service and then if sex happens it is by mutual agreement by consenting adults. The sex is not paid for, it is the company that is paid for.
Choosing an escort involves taking some time and energy to find the right one and kind of escort for you. There are a few types of escorts listed below. Each type will have it's own cost structure and will have it's own risks. Many of the more expensive escorts are sticklers for safer sex, while some of the street boys or rentboys will not care so much as they are doing it for minimal money in the he back of a car and can't really think past their next drug hit.
A few thoughts though about male prostitutes, not all of them do it because they are drug addicts, some are college students who do it to put themselves through college, although after college they rarely get fully out of the game. Some guys do it because they are highly sexed and they are even choosy about the guys they do it with, they might have a few regulars on a loose sort of arrangement, and this is more like serial Sugar Daddy territory!
Many however do it because they have nothing else to offer, or so they think and sex with some of these guys can be a rather disappointing experience, and risky as well.
Escort Agencies
Escort Agencies are probably the safest and best way to find an escort for your pleasure. Most of the agencies have a number of different boys who work at different times of the day and night. Agencies usually have good clean facilities such as private rooms with ensuite showers and will always have a ready supply of condoms and lubricant.
Some agencies also provide them rooms such as dungeons, lockers rooms, fairy tales etc. etc. With escort agencies prepare to pay a premium for the service as they have to cover all their overhead.
Agencies will be able to provide boys on their premises (incalls) and also provide boys to visit your home or hotel room (outcalls). Outcalls will usually require an additional surcharge for traveling time and cost.
When you first visit an agency you will be provided with either a portfolio of the boys available or may be introduced to the boys on duty at that time. You will also be told what each one's sexual preference is, i.e. whether they are passive, active versatile etc.
In many part so the world escort agencies are illegal so they will market themselves under the guise of massage parlors or the like. Then the sexual activity is conducted not for money as such but by mutual agreement of consenting adults.
An interesting fact about the sex industry in Australia is that brothels are legal in most states, although they have to be licensed and adhere to very strict rules. The sex workers industry in Australia is quite vocal and promotes itself as an alternative offering for helping men and women. They also promote themselves as helping the disabled because a large percentage of their clientele have either physical or intellectual disabilities and visiting an escort is on of the only ways they can experience sexual fulfillment.
Independent Escorts
If you open almost any gay newspaper and turn it to the back you will usually find a whole listing of independent gay escorts, some ads with pictures and some without. An independent escort is usually someone who offers both incalls and outcalls. They usually work out of their home or apartment and many of these escorts have "straight" or daytime jobs. They moonlight at night and on the weekend as an escort to make some extra money.
With independent escorts there is usually an enormous amount of variance, from young college aged men to older men who offer special services such as S&M.
When choosing an independent escort you need to be quite specific in what you are looking for, as they will not all appeal to your tastes. You can also often follow an URL and have a look at a few pictures and their likes and dislikes.
Independent escorts are usually less expensive than the agencies, although there are some escorts that also work as porn stars and for these you will definitely pay a premium. A few years ago there was a rumor that Lukas Ridgestone from Bel Ami fame was offering his services in New York for $5000 USD a night. Whether this story is true or not is unknown, but there are a lot of famous porn stars that can be "hired for the night".
Not all independent escorts will provide sexual services that are safe, and many of them have pretty much got off the streets and set up shop. Be careful with all escorts and never have unsafe sex!
Rent Boys
Street workers, curb crawlers and rentboys are probably one of the most common and cliched images of male prostitutes. Rentboys are usually quite young and often underage boys who have run away and ended up hooked on drugs and on the street. To pay for their habits and for a roof over their heads they peddle their bodies on the streets and in clubs.
Rentboys are often unconcerned with who or why, they are in it for the quick buck and they will usually ply their trade in the back of a car, a cheap hotel room or even in the local sauna or bathhouse. Their services don't cost very much and the service reflects this.
Regardless of whether a young underage guy wants to have sex with an older guy for money, it is illegal. Many of the rentboys you may see are actually straight boys with nothing else left to offer themselves or so they think.
Occasional Pay For Play
This is probably one of the most elusive and sought after types of escorts, the occasional pay for play. These boys are often back packers needing to make a bit of extra money, or just horny guys that think it is OK to play for a bit of money.
They usually don't advertise and would not refer to themselves as escorts. Instead, if an opportunity arises for making a bit of money they take it. Often you might see older gay businessmen offering younger cute guys some money to sleep with them, and sometimes this works, and at other times the older guys get a drink tipped over them.
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